How vaccines separate the intelligent from the stupid

Proving vaccines work is easy. Finding any signs of intelligence in the minds of anti-vaxxers is a greater challenge. Anti anti-vaxxer meme with the caption: 'A special message from the flat earth society. To all anti vaxxers: thank you for making us look normal'

Where vaccines fail

Firstly: let’s indulge those that say vaccines don’t work. That’s perfectly true, but only if your objective is to reduce the population. Last century, pre vaccine, around half a billion people, mainly children, died of smallpox. In 1980, entirely due to vaccination, smallpox was declared eradicated.

There are several more diseases, such as polio, tetanus, and diphtheria, that have also been eradicated or controlled by vaccines.

Flu vaccines do work

The failure to eradicate influenza is your one shining argument, but only due to your abject ignorance of the number of strains and the speed at which they mutate. Flu vaccines do protect, but only against the strains they have been designed to protect against. New strains appear every day!

Due to the likely inherent *dyscalculia of certain sectors of society, for this basic example, I’ll keep the numbers low.

If there were six flu strains and scientists came up with a vaccine that protected against 3 of them, thus reducing your chance of catching flu by half, would you consider this a failure? If so, please refrain from breeding.

*dyscalculia: a condition that makes **maths difficult.
**maths: A game played by the non labotomized and a fundamental part of scientific analysis.

Anti anti-vaxxer meme with the caption: 'The smallpox cavvine saved 6 million children's lives per year, and still they say vaccines don't work'

Given that vaccines have been proven successful to anyone but the severely intellectually challenged, the next argument against vaccines could be, by saving lives, they’re contributing to world food shortages.

That is once they realize that dead people tend to require fewer calories than the living. I realize this could be some time off, in the meantime, don’t be too surprised if they demand we send food parcels over to the after life.

Indeed: the increasing world population is placing undue strain upon our ability to feed everyone. But this is a problem best left to scientists. Science, to the uninitiated, may seem like a cult whose members practice a particular form of hocus pocus while dancing around test tubes wearing white coats. Fortunately: for those of us who have learned how to walk without scraping our knuckles, science is our only hope of survival.